


Matter Over Mind

by Stilo



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Chimera Edward Elric, Edward Elric - Freeform, Edward Elric kidnapped, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - Freeform, Gen, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Laboratory 5, Mystery, PTSD, Parental Roy Mustang, alphonse elric - Freeform, chimera
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-26 08:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stilo/pseuds/Stilo
Summary: After yet another failure, Alphonse seems ready to give up on the chance of recovering his body. A desperate Edward decides he is willing to go to unprecedented lengths to find a solution, and sets out on what should be a brief journey. Three months later, after Alphonse and the military have begun to lose hope that Edward is even alive, he appears again with no memories and no answers. The relief and joy is quickly smothered by a realization that becomes more obvious with every passing day: something is very, very wrong.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	1. Company

Edward made his way out of town, shielding his eyes from the nearly-set sun. He wore a simple coat, shirt, and pants; he had reluctantly left behind his favorite red alchemist coat to avoid being overly noticeable. Once he had reached the edge of town, the sun was just a dull glow on the horizon, soon overcome by the blackness of night. He continued past the outskirts of town and down a long road. The silhouette of a large building could just barely be seen in the darkness: Ed had reached his destination. In the moonlight, the abandoned building had an eerie presence. Ed shuddered involuntarily. There was no room for doubt, however. It was time to break a few laws.

The daunting structure used to be a laboratory—Laboratory 5, to be precise—but it had been shut down after an investigation proving its use of illegal alchemy for research. Edward had played a role in exposing the illegal experiments. In addition, he had heard rumors—and, well, never exactly reported—that philosopher stones had been made in the lab, and had never been found or removed by the investigation team. A couple of curious people were known to have tried to sneak into the lab, but none of them had ever returned, leading many to believe the lab was cursed or haunted. People avoided it as if it were surrounded by nuclear radiation.

Edward shook his head. The other break-ins had probably been attempted by inexperienced dimwits. No guard or mysterious spirit would be able to fend off a state alchemist, however. Ed was trying to fight his shame with confidence, but it wasn’t working. He had been unwilling to go for the stones before, as his goal was to restore their bodies without using human souls, but those people were already dead, weren't they? It would be a shame that so many innocent victims died to make stones that ended up just sitting in an abandoned building. Yes, he told himself, this was a favor to those who had been sacrificed, giving them a final purpose.

Cautiously, he made his way towards the entrance of the building. The guard was slumped on the wall, snoring softly. The door was already falling off its hinges, so Ed had no trouble getting by it. Soon he was inside the spacious building. He was surprised at how easy his entrance had been. It wasn’t like he expected much resistance from an abandoned building, but still, things were rarely that simple. He kept his guard up, prepared for a spontaneous attack. He pulled out the flashlight he had brought and began to survey his surroundings. He was in a fairly large room, bare and cold, with no windows and no furniture. He proceeded through a door in the far wall. The rooms he continued to discover were all similar: dark, cramped, and drafty. Shivering with both chill and unease, he pulled his coat closer to himself. As confident as he had been earlier, there was something about this place that sent all his senses screaming for him to escape while he still could.

Pushing these unsettling feelings to the back of his mind, he focused on the task at hand. He had been here before but somehow the atmosphere was unfamiliar. He took a deep breath and told himself he just needed to find the lab where the philosopher stones were hidden, and then he would leave right away. Down a dark corridor, he found what he was looking for: room 46, the room in which the philosopher stones were supposedly hidden behind the wall. He had overheard two men discussing this in Central some time ago, both apparently having been part of the investigation but too frightened to take the stones when then found them by accident. The door to enter the room was very heavy but unlocked. He looked around, feeling even more restless in the small space and damp air. Pressing on the wall’s cobblestones, a hidden space in the wall suddenly opened, revealing a case of several philosopher stones. Why would they be left so unguarded?

The door behind him slammed shut. Edward yelped in surprise and pivoted to face whatever threat had finally discovered him. He simultaneously dropped the flashlight, throwing the whole room into blackness. The draft was gone, which meant the door had closed. Perfect. He was trapped in here with whomever or whatever stood before him. Being a skilled Alchemist was useful mainly when you could see what you were transmuting, and Ed wished he had examined the room more closely beforehand... A few tense moments passed, in which Edward stood in a fighting stance and the other individual made no move to attack. Ed was confused at this hesitation but hardly dared to breathe. The stranger finally spoke.

"Welcome."

His voice was like frozen caramel, like melting shards of glass…Edward didn't know quite how to describe it, but it chilled him to the bone. He decided he had no interest in hearing a bad-guy speech; he had to make the first move, otherwise his opponent had all the advantages. With a clap, bright blue light snaked around his arms as he prepared to transmute his automail arm into its trademark knife form. 

He wasn't given the time. The stranger grabbed his metal arm with unexpected swiftness, and Edward watched in horror and bafflement as the transmutation light stopped its pulsing and absorbed into the other man's arm. It seemed to soak gradually into his skin and then it stopped, its blue light shining from tattoos on a large and muscular arm, and without warning it shot like a bolt of lightning back along the path it came—back into Ed's automail. With a startled shout, he watched as the metal disfigured, tearing itself apart like silver paper caught in the blades of a fan.

Edward's mouth hung slightly agape, and his wide eyes refused to register the twisted metal that used to be an arm. His arm. No, Winry’s arm. She would kill him if this fellow didn’t. Rage coursed through him, but he also felt the start of something else: fear. Without his arm, he could no longer perform alchemy, and that put him at a major disadvantage, especially considering his opponent's unexpected strength. Without alchemy, he was just a vulnerable teenage kid. Before he could make any decisions, he found himself unable to move: in the span of just a few seconds, he had been bound by thick chords. He heard an icy chuckle.

"Now. As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted my—"

"It wasn't an interruption; you were at the end of a sentence," Ed said gruffly while squirming. The man shoved a gag in his mouth.

"As I was saying: welcome. I've been waiting a long time for a subject like you. People are too scared of this place to go near it, so I ran out of resources…you're a little small, but you'll do fine." Ed grunted in response to that comment. He shoved the anger aside for the moment and thought over what the man had said. He pieced together what he knew: this was a laboratory, he was a specimen, he was unable to fight or use alchemy, and the man in front of him was most likely an Alchemist—with a ready supply of philosopher stones to boot. Well, crap. He didn't really have to do the math to realize that his was not going well for him. An unexpected prick on his arm made him wince, and he turned to see the man remove a needle and syringe from his skin. “I knew you’d come eventually,” the man continued, eyeing the empty syringe. “I set it all up nicely, tracked your motions, sent a few people to spread a couple of rumors…” Ed heard nothing more. He couldn’t fight the drowsiness that overtook him and the world soon went black. 

It was an oblivion he would learn to long for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I’m not going to beg for reviews every chapter, but they truly do mean a lot and help me to know if this was a storyline worth revisiting.
> 
> -Stilo


	2. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS:
> 
> Unsettling memories and flashbacks

"Brother is missing."

Alphonse's distress was obvious from the moment he'd burst into the office. Ed's unpredictable nature meant that he was often unaccounted for, but it was unusual for Alphonse to seem so concerned.

Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"For how long?"

"He left yesterday evening."

Mustang frowned in confusion. That wasn't long enough of an absence to send a search party. Alphonse sensed his doubt and continued.

"I wouldn't worry you for nothing, it's just—I know this sounds silly, but he didn't take his red coat; he wore completely plain clothes, so he was trying not to be obvious. That means he was doing something illegal and/or highly dangerous. Actually, he’s pretty obvious even when he is doing something dangerous, so he's probably up to something _ really _bad."

Mustang let out a frustrated breath. Ed's missing ego wasn't proof enough of imminent danger, but Alphonse seemed so distressed that he filed a missing report anyways, if only to make the boy feel better.

"We'll find him," Mustang promised. Al bowed his head and thanked the colonel. He felt bad about making a fuss, but something just felt very wrong. He would rather make a scene over nothing than regret not investigating something serious.

-

Ed was struggling against the haze that he had woken to. As his senses slowly returned, he wondered how long he had been unconscious for. Taking a shaky breath, he tried to figure out what he could, despite the blackness of the room. He felt disoriented, struggling to remember why he was here. His whole body ached, and the involuntary tremors than ran through him didn’t help.

The door opened, a growing shaft of blinding light that forced Edward to squeeze his eyes shut. For how long had he been in this darkness?

"Good evening," the scientist said cheerfully. He lifted a small case and set it on a nearby table. He popped the lid open, revealing two syringes with long needles. Ed immediately began to squirm, eyeing the needles that the man now held in his hands.

"Now, if you would direct your attention to these two syringes please," said the scientist as if he were a game show host revealing the newest prizes. It was an unnecessary request, as Ed's eyes hadn't left the needles since they had been revealed. Something about them sparked a terrible remembrance of fear, but he couldn’t put his finger on what those memories were. The man smiled at the syringe in his left hand. It contained a sickly brown substance.

“You were a tricky subject, kid. I’m lucky you have removable limbs. You’re quite the fighter.” Ed frowned. When did he fight this man? He’d just gotten here. “It usually takes me much longer to complete this procedure. DNA is a tricky thing to manipulate, you know? And everyone’s is different. I guess you could say I’m an expert by now.” He smirked, lifting the brown syringe.

"This is my very own concoction. I'm quite proud. Nothing I’ve done to you will take effect until it reacts with this substance, just as I intended.” He then lifted the other syringe, which had a substance that glowed a dull orange. "This, on the other hand, is the antidote. I'm sure you're wondering why I would need an antidote if I don't plan on reversing any of my hard work...but you’ll soon understand why. For now, let's begin." The scientist then approached Edward, who tried to shrink backwards but failed miserably, and before he could gasp there was a needle pressed into his upper arm. Nausea seeped into him as he panicked, trying to get away from the needle, his life-long enemy. It was over as quickly as it began, and he was sweating slightly as the scientist placed the empty syringe back into its case. Ed began to panic again. What had just been injected into him? Did the man want him dead, or did he want information? Would it kill him, or torture him, or make him lose his sanity?

The shackles opened, sending a startled Edward toppling forwards.

"That is all. You may go," said the scientist casually. Ed stared, the words not having fully registered in his head. He could leave?

"However," the scientist added darkly, "I assure you that you don't want to bring any of your military friends over here, and you certainly don't want to hurt me or damage this facility. I do, after all, have the antidote, and it will be very well hidden. If you kill me or bring anyone else, you’ll never find it. Don’t think for a moment that I wouldn’t destroy it if you try anything. Allow me to see you out. You probably feel quite confused right now—they all did, at first— but your memories will return. Just be patient.”

Ed watched in a haze of confusion as the man opened a door leading to a stairwell that spiraled up and back outside. Was it a trick? Would the stairs explode? Would he fall through them to the center of the earth? All that mattered was that he was free, after all, and could now trap the unsuspecting man and make him hand over the antidote.

He pressed his hand to the circle he’d carved into the floor while the man was talking, focusing on transmuting the walls into binding chains, but nothing happened. Ed spun around to see the scientist, sleeves rolled up, bright blue light illuminating the alchemic patterns tattooed on his skin. He had…stolen Ed's alchemy? Is that what he had done the first time Ed attacked? At least the first time there was an alchemic reaction. Now there was nothing.

"I said, goodbye," the man said icily, and the next thing Ed knew, the ground was transforming below him and he was being moved against his will. He saw the sky come into view, and he landed in a heap on the grass outside the lab, shaken but uninjured. The man really had let him leave, had even wanted him to leave…

His first step was to find Alphonse. Then he would see a doctor about whatever he had been injected with. He would also notify the military about the weirdo in the laboratory. No, no! To do that he would have to admit that he had trespassed on strictly forbidden property. Ed knew he had a lot of explaining to do. He could already feel Winry’s wrench bashing his head in when she saw what had happened to his arm.

Shaking his head, he decided to just find Alphonse and leave the rest for later. He felt immensely tired, as if a heavy wet blanket had been draped over him. He passed it off as an after-effect of the sedative he had first been injected with. As he turned to head home, he felt a sharp pain in his side that made him stumble. It was a strange sort of pain, one that seemed to originate from the very center of his bones. It must have been from having been tied up for so long. The back of his mind tugged at his conscience, insisting that something was very wrong.

Just the sedatives, Edward told himself, and continued to haul himself home through a heavy haze of sleepiness.

-

Alphonse walked the streets alone. The sun had long since set, but he had never been able to sleep since being trapped as an armored soul. Since the disappearance of Edward, he hadn't even been able to relax. He didn't really see much of a purpose to life without his brother. If only Al hadn’t moped about losing hope, maybe Ed would still be by his side, and no matter what the future held they’d face it together. He knew he needed to let go, but until Edward was found dead, all he could think of was the possibility that he was still alive. The silver light from the moon played with his sense of vision, one of only two senses he had retained, and it led him to believe he saw the swish of a cloak and a glint of golden hair. Perhaps he was going insane…

_ “AL!” _

That sounded like Ed's voice, too. Horrified at the thought that he was now hearing things as well, Al shook his head violently. His own mind was mocking him.

"_ Alphonse_!"

Al spun around and saw a figure running clumsily towards him. It _was_ Ed. He looked terrible, frankly, but there was no mistaking the vertically-challenged State Alchemist. With the clanking of metal, Alphonse was running towards his brother. Edward gave a relieved smile, slowing down his pace, preparing for a hug. Instead, Alphonse ran into him full-force and both went crashing to the ground.

" _Idiot!_" Al cried. " _ Edward, you idiot!! What in the world were you thinking?? You didn’t even tell me where you were going, you didn’t tell me anything, I was willing to come, but you clearly didn’t want me to, I should have known it was trouble from the start!” _

Shocked, Ed hobbled to his feet, panting, then interrupted his brother’s rant.

"Alphonse, what is going on? I’ve only been gone one night! I told you I’d be back soon!”

Al froze and pulled away, staring at Ed. “Brother…what happened?" He asked quietly.

"I don’t understand why you’re so worried. It’s ok. I’m back now."

"You go missing for over 3 months, and you show up thinking it's been an overnight expedition. I think that is _ plenty _ of reason to worry."

Ed's eyes widened in confusion and terror. Months? He had been gone for _ months _? That really was a reason to worry. Why couldn’t he remember a thing? What had that creep done?

As if in response, he felt that sharp pain in his ribs again. It felt like they were shifting slightly inside of him. He tried to quickly hide the grimace of pain that flitted across his face, but Alphonse had noticed. Ed came up with a quick excuse.

"Ah, I guess I haven’t been eating that much. My stomach is killing me."

"Brother, we need to get you to a doctor!" Al exclaimed. 

"First, I want a sandwich." Ed had realized he really was famished. How much had he been fed over the past months?

Back at their flat, Al called the Mustang to let him know that Edward had been found. The colonel showed up at their flat almost immediately, and began to look Ed over for injuries. He quickly noticed hundreds of needle scars adorning his arms, legs, and chest, and he insisted on getting Ed's blood tested. 

"What a lovely welcome home," Ed grumbled as he parried the doctors' attempts to subdue him.

"Hold still, they just need a bit of blood!" Alphonse said, exasperated. In the end, Al was holding Ed in a full-nelson, and after a small prick the tube began to fill with blood. Ed had always been frightened of needles, but today seemed infinitely worse. He had paled considerably and gone stiff, eyeing the needle as if it meant his death.

"I'll have the full results in about 90 minutes," the doctor said before leaving with the blood samples. Ed was breathing hard, his back turned to Al, who was busy worrying at how little Ed was able to remember about the past three months. What in the world had happened?

“Ed. Do you really remember nothing?”

Ed turned around and racked his brain, trying to figure out how to give an answer without exposing what he had been trying to do. “I was just...walking, and then someone kidnapped me,” he said finally. “He injected something into my arm and I passed out. When I woke up, he injected something else, and then he let me go.”

“He just_ let you go?” _Al said incredulously. Ed nodded, frowning. Everything about this was strange on so many levels.

When the doctor returned, he asked to speak to Alphonse and Mustang alone. Ed huffed as they left the room. Wasn’t he the patient? What could the doctor possibly have to say to them?

The doctor seemed troubled. That was never a good sign.

"Mr. Elric was infused with something that caused temporary amnesia, erasing his memory of anything that happened over the months that he was gone. As the drug wears off, his memories of that time will return, and they will likely be traumatic. He is probably going to have flashbacks and nightmares for a long time. You will need to support him through this. It won’t be easy."

Al shook his head in shock and disbelief. "Is that everything?" 

The doctor hesitated again, then continued. "No. Whatever was injected into his blood steam also altered his DNA, but it is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I can't identify it. I'll keep working on it and let you know if I figure anything out." He paused, seeming to have an internal struggle, then continued. "And…well…until we find a cure, it may affect him physically. His body will try to adapt to the new DNA in any way it can. It will not be pleasant." Al and Mustang sat in horrified silence, trying to make sense of the doctor’s words. 

“Take care of that kid, and don’t hesitate to come back if things get much worse," he added amidst the tense silence. “I can tell him this news, or you can tell him yourself.”

“I’ll tell him,” Al said in a quavering voice.

“We’ll take good care of him,” Mustang said quietly. “God knows he’s been through enough already...”

They all reconvened in Ed’s room, and Al felt terribly nervous. Perhaps a trip to the library could take Ed's mind off of things, as it usually did.

-

_ There was a creak of floorboards, and Ed's eyes shot open. He pulled in vain at the restraints that kept digging into his wrists. _

_ "Hold still," said the man as he approached. A prick on Ed's arm, and a few moments later the scientist held a syringe half-filled with Ed's blood. He produced a small vial from his coat pocket and poured its contents into the syringe, and it swirled, converging with the blood until there was no visible difference. Satisfied, the man eyed the needle, then again pricked it into Ed's upper arm. Ed again tried to pull away, very uneasy with the idea that something foreign was being ejected into his bloodstream. Unease was abruptly replaced by pain; he felt like the veins in his arm had become liquid fire, and he thrashed wildly. The man picked up the needle and mixed Ed's blood with the substance again, ignoring the protests from the angry teen as he pricked it into his lower arm… _

"ED! EDWARD!"

Ed's eyes snapped open. He was on the floor of the library, surrounded by books that might have once been stacked neatly, but were now cast about him. Al was hovering above him, and Ed threw his hands protectively over his face.

"Brother! What happened? Are you ok?"

Ed wasn't sure how to respond. After making sure he really was in the library with Al and not in a dark room with a mad scientist, he let out a shaky breath.

"Just a dream, Al. Calm down."

"You were yelling and flailing!"

"…Bad dream."

"Bad memory," Al realized aloud. "What did you remember?"

"Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it."

Those statements were clearly contradicting each other, but Al wasn’t sure he wanted to push Ed if he wasn’t ready. 

“I’ll be here when you do want to talk about it.”

"It’s nothing, Al, it just—agh!" A pain blossomed in his arm. At that moment, he remembered something he’d been ignoring. The DNA…the odd pains…the laboratory.

The cure.

He had forgotten the final conversation with his captor, where the scientist had assured him that he'd have to return for the cure. That was a vital detail. He was indeed going to have get the cure at some point; if he didn’t, he might die a slow, painful death. There was no way he would risk letting anyone else come along. Who knew what the madman could do?

-

The days passed, and Edward made his best effort to live life as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Winry fixed his arm after tearfully whacking him on the head for scaring her to death. The news of his disappearance had traveled far. He knew what the scientist freak was trying to do—to get him to return to the laboratory, most likely so that he could become a living experiment again. Unfortunately, Ed didn’t have any other options; every hour, racking pains seemed to compress his muscles and shift his bones. He was faced with a tough choice. There was no way he could tell Al about his plan to return to the abandoned lab, but if he did end up being captured again at the lab and released three months later, Al would never trust him again. In the week after he had been found, Al would often stare at him, as if worried that the mirage of his long-lost brother might disappear. To leave again without warning would take a terrible toll on Al. The poor kid didn’t deserve that.

So he procrastinated. The memories would often return to him in his sleep and in his waking. He'd been pricked, tested, and had his DNA altered through hundreds of shots that burned like fire. Stubbornness was a dominant trait of his, though, and he resolved to ignore the unpleasant sensations that tore at him more often with every passing day.

One afternoon, he could no longer fake being "perfectly fine". Al accompanied Ed on a trip to the library. Less than an hour after arriving, Ed cried out and fell to the floor, thrashing, shivering, and clutching at himself as if he were falling apart. A pile of books clattered to the floor as Al quite literally dropped what he was doing and ran to his brother's side. Ed's eyes shot open, glassy and distant.

_ Cages lined the walls, each housing shadows that growled and shrieked. A shaft of moonlight lit up one of the creatures, and it shied away from the light. It seemed to be some kind of bird, but it was enormous. Its wings were battered, likely from trying desperately to escape its cruel confinement. Ed stared at it. There was nothing beautiful about the creature, it might as well have been a physical representation of misery and pain. The bird stared back. Then it spoke. _

_ "It's raining…" _

_ Ed gaped, vaguely registering that there was no sound of rain, entranced and horrified by the creature._

_ "It's raining," it repeated, _

_ "No, it's not," Ed said hesitantly. _

_ "It's raining. Don't go outside…don't go out…don't go… rain…"_

_ Ed felt as though his heart were made of lead. The bird spoke in a soft croak that nevertheless screamed of its internal agony. Ed felt the familiar prick of a needle, and his senses began to shut down. The last thing he registered was the empty eyes and voice of the mutant creature. _

_ "Don't go…" _

"BROTHER!"

Ed became aware of a stinging on his cheek. Al had smacked him back to the present. Although he was no longer trapped in that memory, he was unable to shake it completely from his mind. A fury rose inside of him. Those innocent creatures, captured and experimented on, then thrown into cages like trash. Ed half-hoped they had died; he, for sure, would rather die than live in such despair. Al's voice shook him from his thoughts.

"We need to get you to a hospital."

"I'm fine."

Al slapped him again.

"Fine? Fine??" Al yelled, attracting some startled gazes. He continued in a threatening whisper. "You act like things are fine, but I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I know you’re in pain, I know you panic as you relive memories that you're somehow so pressed on keeping secret. I want to help you, but you apparently don't trust me. Well, fine, at least trust a doctor! Trust someone! You're stupid and naïve enough to think you're immortal, apparently! You're a human, Ed. I don't care how much you want to be something else, humans need support and help and…" Al sighed and dropped to his knees with a clank to be eye-to-eye with Ed. “I just can’t lose you again.” Ed stared at the floor like a dog that had been shamed. 

"Al…I just…I didn’t want you to worry. I'm sorry. I‘m reckless and stupid, and I won't do that again. I'll get help. In fact, I'll fix this first thing tomorrow morning.” 

Al seemed to like that promise. Ed felt a twinge of guilt, knowing Al didn’t truly know what he meant.

He'd fix things. For Al's sake.

That evening, Al helped Ed to gather his things, not missing how every motion seemed to cause him pain. Although he knew his brother was getting help, he still couldn’t fight the dread inside.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at the dorm; perhaps the way he looked at Al; perhaps the way he said goodbye.

Something else was wrong with Edward.


	3. Pain and Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:
> 
> Same as before

He had simply left, promising to make things right. "Right" could mean many things for Ed, but they often ended up being things that got him in trouble. Al frowned. Had Ed actually said he was going to the hospital? He said he was fixing things. Al assumed that’s what he meant. Why didn’t he chase after him to clarify? Was it the determination and promise in Ed's eyes? He hadn't even said when he would be back. He hadn't really said much at all. Alarms were blaring in Al's head as he watched his brother disappear into the night, but for a reason beyond himself, he subdued them.   
  


-

Fear and dread were sensations that Edward rarely acknowledged. Yet, as he willingly made his way down the path that led to his fate, these sensations were strong. Was he walking to his death, or something even worse? Did he have a plan? Was it even worth it? His whole body ached; he could barely remember a time when it didn't. He wanted to go back to the safety of the dorm and sleep for a few days.

The laboratory loomed in the distance, dark and disturbing as ever. Ed transmuted his arm into a sword, not wanting to use alchemy in the laboratory for the fear that the transmutation light would attract attention. Unfortunately, his hope of entering the lab easily was shattered when he felt a stabbing pain in his legs. He groaned. Now was not the time! He needed to move!

Fighting against the agony, he entered the lab with little more than a grunt. The cure…which room was it in? Was it even here at all? His arm was back. He could put up a fight. That scientist had no idea what he was up against.

He heard a shuffle in the distance. Suddenly, he collapsed in a wave of unparalleled pain as a faint grinding noise assaulted his ears. A split second later, he had given up on his plan of staying quiet, because the grinding was coming from the bones in his leg.

"Welcome," said an all-too-familiar voice. Ed would have been scared, but he could no longer think over the pain. What was wrong with his stupid leg? It was as if it had grown tired of being a leg and wanted to try something new for once. He registered being grabbed under the arms and dragged across the ground, and the next thing he knew he had been released and was lying on the cold stone floor. He had been thrust into a cage. A cage, of all things! He was not some misbehaving animal, he was the Fullmetal Alchemist and deserved—

  
Unsettling shuffling sounds interrupted his thoughts and alerted him to the fact that he was not alone. Large shadows were crammed into cages beside and above him.

"Don't…go…"

The croaking voice startled him and he turned to see a large bird. The large bird with empty eyes, from his visions. It no longer struggled.

Ed felt tears prickle at his eyes but forgot about the bird as his world exploded into blinding agony. He thought about Al, who would be worried sick again, and was overcome with guilt.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry…"

—

Roy Mustang tried to focus his bleary eyes on the enormous, shining figure in front of him. Having previously been asleep on top of his paperwork, his mind was still spinning in confusion. Thankfully, it hadn't been Hawkeye entering the room to reprimand him for sleeping on his work. He shook his head and focused on the suit of armor speaking in a panic.

"—yesterday, I swear, and I knew something was up, but I didn't follow; why didn't I follow? He's gone, he's still gone, and I know something is wrong, I thought he was going to the hospital but I just called and he never showed up!"

Mustang frowned. Was this about Edward again? That heartless kid had left again without telling his brother anything? He wasn't invincible just because he was on the side of the military. If anything, he was in greater danger.

"So the brat left again?" Mustang asked with a sigh.

"Yes! He said he had to fix things…fix something…fix what?"

"Well, this is Ed we're talking about. There is no difference between fixing something and ruining it entirely." The colonel immediately regretted his words as the armor began to tremble. "But, he's not totally hopeless," he added quickly. "Someone would have to be pretty stupid to pick a fight with him. He's probably just off somewhere he's not supposed to be, as usual.

"I think I know where he might be," Al realized aloud. “I never thought he’d be that stupid, but from the direction he went when he first left all those months ago, and the same way he went yesterday...well, after the lab was shut down, he said he had heard rumors about philosopher stones being kept in Laboratory 5. We agreed never to investigate, and I told him to report the rumors. Since I never heard anything about it, I just assumed the investigators didn’t find anything. The rumors were just tall tales.”

The colonel frowned. “Al, he never reported anything to us. Are you saying he kept this a secret?”

Al covered his face with his metal hands. “Oh God...idiot...I’m going after him.”

“You're not going alone," said Roy firmly. He, too, had a bad feeling about all this. 

"Thank you," said Al. He was definitely nervous. Anything that could take down Ed was dangerous indeed. The two left the military building, hurrying along the edge of town and reaching the lab much quicker than they would have in any other situation. Roy flipped out a flashlight and entered, wary of the fact that the broken door would allow easy access to anyone. Where was the guard?

Alphonse and Mustang passed through the cold rooms and walked silently through a hallway. As they approached the door, they began to hear terrible noises, sounds of anguish and pain and misery. As they approached the sounds, they became nearly unbearable. They were weak, strained, and heart-wrenching. Whimpers, whispers, croaks and rasping sobs. Mustang wouldn't have expected anything different had they been facing the entrance to hell itself. This place probably wasn't far off.

When the door opened, small shining orbs pierced the darkness—multitudes of eyes, they realized—and turned towards the duo in the doorway. Almost as a single entity, the dark shapes that were producing such terrible noises began to shy away, pressing at the backs of their cages in an attempt to stay as far away from the intruders as possible. The whimpers grew in volume and desperation. Alphonse felt sick, on the verge of breaking down into impossible tears. As they stepped into the room, a dull light overhead flickered to life.

It was the most terrible thing Alphonse had ever seen, and despite the colonel's experiences in war having hardened his senses, he couldn't suppress his horror. There were creatures in the cages, far too large to be simply dogs, foxes, or birds, and each of them was morphed beyond recognition as any animal Roy could think of. He walked among them in a haze of denial and shock, mumbling furious nothings under his breath, but the mumbling stopped when he reached one of the larger cages. While the other beings continued to yelp and try to melt into the walls, this one simply laid on the floor with the most helpless look of pure defeat that Roy had ever seen. He knelt down to get a better look, wondering if the thing was even still alive.

It seemed to be a very large dog, pale in color, with golden hair covering its eyes and cascading down its back. Soon it became obvious that it was not only a dog; it bore large, golden-patterned wings which it held close to its back, and they trembled as Roy approached the creature. Al had noticed the colonel's particular interest in the creature, and approached to kneel beside him. The dog's eyes widened, and it tried to stand, succeeding only for a few trembling seconds before collapsing again. It curled its tail around itself, and stared at Al with vacuous but agonized eyes. A strange, whimpering moan escaped its throat, and it opened its mouth.

"Ssss….ssss…."

Al wondered if the poor soul had been mixed with a snake as well.

"Ssss….ssssssssooooorry…."

Al and Roy both gaped. 

"Sssooorry. Sorrrrryy…sooorrrryy…so…..sorry…"

The creature seemed desperate to convey a meaning, and frustrated with the ineptitude of its speaking. Alphonse wondered if the rest of the animals here could talk. Were they all chimeras? The memory of Nina flashed in his mind and he shuddered. The creature before them continued to sputter its apology, seeming to lose its strength with every word. Roy made a calm "Shhhhhh…" sound to urge it to rest. It only became more frantic, and refused to look at anything but Al.

"Sorry….sorry….b…b….." 

Al sighed, and began to ask what it was sorry about when it finally made its meaning clear.

"B….brroootttthhherr….."


	4. Unspoken

Alphonse was unable to process anything. His mind was a complete haze, muddying any logic or emotion. With one word, the creature has rendered him speechless. His mind was a whirlwind of terror, grief, anger, and despair. This poor creature encased the soul of his brother. His only brother. Al wasn't sure whether to scream or cry, but he found that he could do neither. The chimera attempted to stand again as Roy shone his flashlight closer, and every doubt was washed away as they saw Ed's legs. There were only two of them: one in the back and one in the front. Al began to keen. Beside him, Roy kneeled in shocked silence.

"Well, well, well," spoke a voice at the doorway. Al and Roy spun around to face a tall silhouette. Had they just become bait for the monster who did this? 

“Look at this!” The figure exclaimed. “Roy Mustang and Alphonse Elric. I noticed you two headed this way and decided I’d have a little look into whatever trouble you’re getting yourselves into.”

The figure stepped forward into the dim light. He wore a white suit, a fedora, and a cynical smile. Kimblee.

"Such pathetic creatures," he said with feigned pity as he surveyed the scene. Kimblee strode over to where Ed and Roy crouched, and upon seeing the golden haired creature, he gasped in amusement.

"Is that the little brat?" He exclaimed. The chimera stirred and moaned.

"Llll….lil….n…not…little…"

"And still has the strength to claim he isn't little. Well, you're not just small now. You're useless too. Everything that made you special no longer applies to you. How does that feel?"

There was a sickening crack as a large, metal fist collided with Kimblee's nose. Alphonse had stood up and was trembling.

"You…you MONSTER! These creatures have human souls...you wouldn’t understand; you never had a soul at all.”

Kimble brought his hand up to his nose gingerly. The shock and pain had sparked anger alongside his amusement. He opened his mouth to retort again.

Alphonse had not finished. With a cry of fury, he swung a hammerfist and Kimblee soon lay unconscious on the ground. Roy gaped and spluttered, horrified at the realization that Al had just knocked out a State Alchemist, and he had been at the scene as well.

A small flash of light returned his attention to the lab. Alphonse had broken open the lock and was cautiously opening the cage door.

Edward recoiled once the door of his cage opened, acting on the instinct that his removal always resulted in painful experiments. This was his brother, however, and despite his terror, he dragged himself forward with his front paw. With a pained snuff, he inched out of the cage and rested his head on Al's leg. It wasn't comfortable, but it was familiar, so he savored the cold metal beneath his fur. He was soon shifted as Al wrapped his arms around him and tried to pick him up. Ed whimpered; the motion jostled his already aching body.

As Al lifted him up, Ed felt his balance waver, and he instinctively began to flap his wings wildly. The frenzied motion only brought him more pain, but he couldn't seem to stop. The large wings battered at Al's chest and arms, as well as Roy's face when he approached.

"Can you hold him still?" Roy asked through a mouthful of feathers. Al adjusted his grip on Ed’s thrashing body with difficulty so that Ed's wings were pinned between himself and the armor. Ed began to pant; the tight hold was making it worse.

"H...hurrrrrts..." he moaned. Al breathed a soft sigh.

"If I loosen a bit, you can't thrash around, ok?"

"..Kay..."

Al slackened and Ed shifted from the painful iron grip. He forced himself to keep as still as possible after that, though his body continued to shudder involuntarily.

Roy had seen terrible things in his life, but this was on a whole new level. He'd become numb to seeing thousands of lives destroyed on the battlefield, but now that it was a life so close to him, he was distraught. The creature in Al's arms was so miserable. It seemed the situation was beyond help. Where would they bring him? A hospital? A vet? Neither seemed appropriate.

"Why don't we take him to my place for a bit?" Roy suggested, trying to keep his voice steady. 

“What about the other chimeras?”

Roy frowned. “I...I don’t know. We can’t take them all with us. I’ll have the military look into this. That facility should be destroyed.”

Ed seemed to fade out as they approached the military vehicle, either fallen asleep from exhaustion or passed out. Roy helped to lay him on the back seat, and Al squeezed in next to him. Before they began to drive, Al gave a sheepish cough and asked,

"What about Kimblee?"

Roy hesitated. He could get out of a whole lot of trouble if he aided the other Alchemist. He sighed and responded,

"He deserved it."

They drove away.

-

Ed hadn’t passed out. He was just so terribly exhausted from his brief struggle that he couldn’t even lift his head as Al carried him to the car. Everything hurt. Sleep sounded nice, but for a moment he just enjoyed the sounds of familiar voices.

“...We can’t take all of them. I’ll have the military look into this. This facility should be destroyed.”

His eyes shot open. No...no, no, no! He very clearly remembered the words of the madman, those words that had broken any hope he’d had of fixing things before they escalated to the point they were at now.

_ You don't want to bring any of your military friends over here, and you certainly don't want to hurt me or damage this facility. I do, after all, have the antidote, and it will be very well hidden. If you kill me or bring anyone else, you’ll never find it. Don’t think for a moment that I won’t destroy it if you try anything. _

He tried to lift his head, shift a paw, make a sound, _ ANYTHING_, but all his energy was spent and the conversation had moved on. 

If they destroyed that lab, none of the chimeras would ever be healed. Neither would he.

Overcome by emotions and exhaustion, he lost his feeble grip on consciousness and passed out on the seat.

_ You’ll never find it. _

_ You’ll never be healed. _

_ It’s over. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I have a lot going on so updates might be slow.
> 
> I deleted chapter 1 because I thought it was dull exposition.


End file.
